Ruin Read online

  “Ava?”

  His voice stops me and I look up, feeling that rush that comes with being near him.

  “Gentry! What are you—” I put my hand on his arm and squeeze, my teeth hurting from smiling so wide.

  He steps back and the smile he gives me is forced. “Miss Safrin, come in. Class is just getting started.”

  I look at him and then past him to the rest of the class sitting and watching our whole exchange. My heart catapults to the ground, the ceiling, and back to the ground again, when I glance at the board behind him and see MR. BARRINGTON written in large block letters.

  His face is pale when I look at him again and I move numbly to the empty desk, nearly tripping over someone’s backpack.

  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

  The guy I’ve been obsessing over for months is my teacher.

  And by the sick look on his face, he wants nothing to do with me.

  Chapter Two

  Ava

  The fifty-minute class is excruciating. I want him to look at me, to see even the tiniest bit of acknowledgment that I didn’t dream up our whole encounter on the beach. That he felt even a fraction of what I felt that night…

  But he does everything possible to avoid looking at me. After his introduction, he talks about what he’ll be covering in the class.

  The guy in front of me turns around and his eyes widen as he takes a long look. “Helloooo,” he whispers. His brow creases as he checks me out and then makes a sound like fire sizzling. “Hot.”

  I groan. “Original. Turn around.”

  Gentry clears his throat and I realize he’s right here, standing near my desk. The guy in front of me turns to face forward again and Gentry moves away from us. I feel the loss of his attention and wish he’d come back.

  I sit there and watch the way his mouth seductively spills out words that I can’t seem to concentrate on because all I can think about is the way he made my heart pound with that same mouth. He looks even better than I remembered, if that’s possible. I had built him up to be quite a god by the time I’d been out of Niaps for a month, but is he ever living up to the hype. His lesson starts out tentatively, as if he’s somewhat nervous, but it’s endearing, and by the end of the class, he’s found his stride. The result is so damn enticing, I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t kiss him again. Today. I had to have imagined that expression on his face earlier.

  By the time the bell rings, I can’t take it anymore. I wait until the class empties out and when I walk up to his desk, I hold onto the edge to avoid reaching out for him. His eyes take in my hand and then slowly travel up to my cheek. I will him to fully look at me, but he seems stuck. He swallows hard and leans back in his chair.

  “Hi,” I say softly.

  “Hello.” His voice is so formal he doesn’t even sound like the same guy he did a minute ago.

  My heart picks up a few beats with nerves and anticipation.

  “It’s good to see you,” I try again.

  His chin lifts and he still hasn’t looked me in the eye. “The bell is going to ring in about two—”

  “Did you know?” I ask. My voice sounds shaky and I turn to the side and clear my throat.

  “Did I know what?”

  “That you were going to be my teacher?” I don’t mean now, I mean that day…on the beach. Somehow I think he’ll know what I’m asking.

  He stands up and turns his back to me, which makes me angry. “No, I didn’t. I had no idea you were…a child.”

  My head rolls back, my eyes to the ceiling. I’ll never let him know his words hurt me, but they do. They sting. “You and I both know I’m not a child.”

  “You’re a child in comparison to me, Ava. I would have never—” he starts and I see red.

  I have thought of practically nothing but this guy…this man—God, how old is he anyway? He looks way younger than Elias or Luka. He can’t be that much older than me. And now he wants to act like that night meant nothing?

  “I never would have either had I known you’re an old man,” I lie.

  A laugh sputters out of him. “I’m hardly old, but I am too old for you.”

  This isn’t going how I wanted this to go at all. I hate how dismissive he seems. “I’ll try to get out of this class so we don’t have to see one another.”

  “That’s hardly necessary. I’m sure we can manage this. It’s only one class, right?” He turns to look at me and crosses his arms over his chest. I take in the way his long sleeve shirt tightens and remember the way his biceps felt under my fingers. I take a deep breath and nod.

  “It was months ago. A lot has changed since then anyway.” I shrug and look at him as if he’s nothing.

  His jaw ticks and he stares at me. Finally. “Right. Well, I better get ready for the next class. Take care, Ava.”

  “You too, Gentry.”

  “You should probably call me Mr. Barrington here.”

  I squeeze my books against my chest and try to calm down before speaking. “Right. Mr. Barrington.”

  I fight not to roll my eyes and manage to wait until I’ve turned around, so he doesn’t think I’m as childish as I apparently am. I walk to the door and turn to look at him one more time. He’s watching me, but when I turn, he drops his arms and faces the board. I want to go kickbox all of the anger out of my system, but I’ve only got one class behind me. It’s going to be a long road if I have to see Gentry—Mr. Barrington—every day.

  * * *

  I keep my head down most of the day. I know I should be trying to make friends, but I’m shook, okay? I’m trying to make sense of what’s happening here. I’ve done nothing but dream about the day I could get back to Niaps to see Gentry and now that I’m here, I find out he’s my fucking teacher. Great, just fucking great.

  I hear Eden and my mother cleaning up my language even in my head and I angrily slam my locker shut. I came to Niaps to avoid being the perfect little princess of Farrow. I’m so not that and will never be, but I still manage to have their voices chirping over my shoulder when I feel like throwing all caution to the wind. As it is now, when I’d love nothing more than to skip this day and run to the beach.

  “What’s up, hottie?”

  I look up, already annoyed, and it’s the guy from my first class.

  “Name’s Ava, learn it. Hottie doesn’t work for me.”

  He frowns and laughs at the same time. “Uptight. I can work with that. I’m Toph. You’re new around here?”

  As annoying as he is, he seems harmless and I could use a friend. He’s cute in an obnoxious boy band kind of way. Not my type whatsoever, but hell, my type seems to be older men who are off-limits, so who am I to judge?

  “Yeah. My sister lives here, so I’ve been in and out, but yeah, here I am, senior year, woohoo,” I say dryly.

  He grins and his blue eyes light up. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone at lunch.”

  I bite my lip, holding back. I’m a loner through and through. I’m not sure I want to meet a crew of people. But he motions for me to follow and I do.

  We grab our lunch of spaghetti—it looks better than I expected school spaghetti to look—and my eyes scan the cafeteria for Gentry. I stop walking when I see him getting a drink, but then he turns around and sees me staring.

  “You coming?” Toph calls.

  Gentry looks at Toph and back at me, then turns abruptly and walks out of the cafeteria. I wonder where he goes to eat lunch.

  Toph nudges me and I follow him to the table. A slew of introductions are made.

  Linney beams at me, Jemima waves, Malcolm is across from Jemima and he says hello, and Jacque is next to Linney and also grinning. They all stare at me expectantly and I lift a hand.

  “Hey,” I mumble.

  “You’re the queen’s sister, right?”

  “What do you think of Niaps?”

  “What made you come here for your senior year?”

  The questions are rapid-fire and I finally hold up a hand. “Whoa.” I laugh and sit down next to Malcolm. Toph sits on the other side of me. “Yes, I’m Eden’s sister and I like Niaps. I needed something other than snow in my life and love to travel, so why not?”

  “So bold,” Linney says, again with the massive smile.

  I find myself smiling back. “You only live once, right?”

  I look around for Gentry again, hoping he’ll come back through so I can get another glimpse, but he doesn’t. I try to keep up with the conversation at the table, even though my brain is hyper-focused on Gentry. I need to talk to him away from school. It’s too weird here, too taboo, but maybe he’ll be different somewhere neutral.

  I just can’t let go of him that fast.

  He made me feel wanted, safe, beautiful…special.

  And I could swear he felt all of it too.

  At the very least, I need to know if he just kisses every girl he comes across and makes them feel like they’ve rocked his world.

  It was just a kiss, I remind myself.

  A life-changing kiss.

  Chapter Three

  Gentry

  It takes willpower I didn’t know I possessed not to curse like a sailor when Ava Safrin walks out of the classroom. I’ve been trying to clean up my mouth since I got here, with Elias constantly reminding me my potty mouth won’t work as a teacher.

  It’s fucking hard.

  How I didn’t put it together when I saw Ava at Elias’s wedding baffles me, that she was the younger sister of Eden Catano, the lovely new queen of Niaps. I was utterly charmed by her; the intoxicating eyes lured me in first, her velvety long black hair with the blue threaded throughout only making her eyes more beautiful. Her sweet, tight little body with the full breasts and pale, pale skin except for the explosion of color on her right arm and l
eft leg. I wanted to explore her tattoos up close and personal, preferably in my bed as the sunlight lit her up.

  I pace in the class, willing myself to calm down and berating myself for being the sick pervert that I am. I’ve never been attracted to a seventeen-year-old girl before. Never. In fact, in the past, I’ve gone out with girls who were older than me, so I did not see that fuckery coming. But no, it’s just her; she’s captivating. And I might not have known how young she was when I met her, but I don’t have that excuse now.

  I’m just glad I got out of there before having sex with her the night of the wedding. Because the way I felt that night, her lips on mine, that immediate connection I haven’t had with anyone…I could have easily let myself get lost in her. Fate stepped in and we went our separate ways due to the obligations of the wedding, but I didn’t stop thinking about her.

  It was a week after the wedding when I got the nerve to ask Elias about the guest at his wedding that he let me know in no uncertain terms to stay the fuck away from Ava.

  “Back up. You’re talking about Eden’s sister, right?” he asked.

  “About this tall, black hair, a voice like an angel?”

  He turned up his nose and I got a sick feeling in my chest.

  “She’s too young, man. You can’t go there.”

  I put my hands on my hips and tried to think through every interaction with her that day. Not once did I think she was too young. The tattoos alone scream maturity, but her eyes; despite her quick wit, her eyes have depth, like she’s been through some rough times and still manages to find the light side.

  “I thought she was my age, maybe a year or two younger.”

  “Seventeen.”

  No. I had to sit down. Finally, I whistled a long, painful whistle that sounded like an eagle dying. Didn’t make me feel one fuckwit better.

  “She’s out of town but supposed to come back to finish out her senior year here.”

  “What have I done to deserve this fresh hell?”

  He laughed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Stay away from her. Got me? That’s Luka’s sister-in-law. You don’t want him on your bad side.”

  “How did I miss that?”

  “Something tells me you weren’t thinking with your head that day, not the right one anyway.” He walked over and got in my face, still laughing. “Snap out of it. Go find someone else to occupy your mind. Right away.”

  I groaned. “I need this job. I won’t screw it up.”

  He studied me closer, his eyes narrowing in a way that I didn’t like. “Nothing happened, right? You guys didn’t—”

  “No,” I rushed to get out, even though I could still feel the way her body pressed against mine and could see the way her lips were parted and shiny when we broke away from each other. “Nothing happened.”

  Except everything.

  I’ve tried my best to push her out of my mind since finding out her age. It hasn’t been easy. And when school started and there was no sign of Ava the first week, the first month, two, three months later, I started breathing a helluva lot easier…even though I haven’t forgotten about her.

  Yesterday after classes, I got word that we had a new student coming in and didn’t even consider it being Ava. I thought I was in the clear. When I looked over the attendee list this morning, I realized I was screwed.

  I’ll have to live with seeing her every damn day in my first-hour class.

  I am so fucked.

  * * *

  I make it to lunchtime in one piece and don’t see Ava again. Maybe I can do this. One class each day for six months, no big deal. And then I feel the hair on the back of my neck rise. I look up and she’s staring at me from across the room. She’s with that kid who was hitting on her earlier. Fuck me. I get out of there and drive to the beach for the next half hour, not bothering to eat my lunch.

  When I make it back to school with ten minutes to spare, Phoebe and Lindsey, two of the teachers who have been very welcoming, are standing outside my door.

  “We missed you at lunch,” Phoebe says.

  She’s the more outspoken of the two. A friendly girl with an easy smile, she’s been helpful in all things school-related since we met. She’d like to be helpful in other ways too—the best way I know to describe her expression when I catch her checking me out is hungry…like a wolf—but I’ve managed to keep her at a distance.

  Lindsey looks young enough to be one of the students, dark-haired and shy. I’ve seen firsthand how her calm demeanor resonates with the students. I don’t catch any desperate vibes rolling off of her; so I’d prefer to hang out with her than Phoebe any day. Now, for instance, Phoebe is tapping her foot anxiously, waiting for —who knows what—while Lindsey just smiles and holds up a bag of cookies, dangling them in front of my face. She made them the first week of school and I was an instant fan. My eyes widen and I snatch the bag.

  “For me?” I ask as she’s already nodding. “Thank you.” I pull one out and immediately eat it, groaning. “I needed this.”

  “Where’d you go?” Phoebe asks, foot tapping faster.

  “I took a little drive. Needed to get out of here for a bit.”

  “You missed the beach carnival meeting,” she says with no small amount of agitation and I curse under my breath.

  “I’m so sorry. Dammit. Did Everst say anything?”

  “He asked where you were and I told him you had to take care of a family emergency during lunch,” Lindsey says, grinning.

  I smile back and shake the bag of cookies. “I owe you double. Can one of you screenshot your notes for me? I’ll do my best to catch up.”

  Phoebe grits her teeth at Lindsey and nods. Lindsey fiddles with her phone and in seconds, my phone dings with the notes from her.

  “Three and 0. Stop now before I owe you my life.”

  I hold up my hand to them and enter the classroom, thankful for another distraction. Planning the carnival will keep me busy. Hopefully too busy to think about one certain student.

  * * *

  By the time I get home from work that night, I’ve calmed down. I don’t know what I’m so worked up over—it’s not like I even know Ava. So we had a connection one night at a wedding. We had chemistry, big deal.

  I’ve been too busy moving to Niaps, working on my little house overlooking the beach, and getting settled into my job…I haven’t had time to meet many new people. I’ve seen Elias occasionally and he tells me I need to get laid every time I see him, and he’s right, I do. Seeing Ava confirms that. It’s time I figure out how to put all thoughts of her out of my head—something I should’ve done the minute I knew how old she was.

  My phone rings and I check it before answering. Dad. I pick up on the second ring.

  “Hey, how are you?”

  “I’m good, son.” His rattling cough gives away his lie. “Just checking on you.”

  I pause. He sounds like he has more to say, but the line is quiet. “Nothing too crazy going on here. Other than wrangling kids all day, that’s about all the excitement I’ve had.”

  He chuckles. “You need to get out more.”

  “So you and Elias keep telling me.”

  “Listen, I hate to ask—I know you’re busy there—but do you think you could make it home this weekend? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

  My breath quickens and I rub my hand over my face. “You sure you’re okay? The cancer isn’t back, is it?”

  “No, no.” He coughs again.

  “Dad…have you been to the doctor lately?”

  “Yes, and I’m fine,” he says quietly. “I just really need to see you—”

  “Of course I’ll come.” It’s a five-hour drive and I was just there two weeks ago, but my dad has never asked me for anything. “I need to see you too. It’ll be nice to be home.”

  “Great.” He sounds a little better already and the guilt that I’m all these miles away when he needs me hits hard. “I’m sure I won’t see your mom for days while she’s going crazy in the kitchen for you, but it’s worth it.”